Category Archives: Blueberry Love

“Wel come to Hadero”

My departure for Ethiopia is just two days away. I’m getting ready, and Mr. Silly Pants and I accept there are some things for which one can never actually ‘be ready.’

Blueberry is making sense of the road ahead, anticipating his own upcoming travel to Ethiopia. He’s also processing the road already traveled. It helps to have oodles and oodles of context for him — a gift I can give on account of recently having been to Ethiopia.

His questions are sweet and tender. His mind wraps around our honest answers and soaks them in with the heart of a trusting child. These are cherished moments. We are humbled by our son’s beauty, and by our bountiful life when measured in love.

I plan to fill many more books. 2 days. 2 days. 2 days……

 

Wordless Wednesday

Wild and “Free-ish”

Marian Wright Edelman: Training him how to walk, what to say, and how to act so he won’t seem like a threat. Teaching him that the burden of deflating stereotypes and reassuring other people’s ignorance will always fall on him, and while that isn’t fair, in some cases it may be the only way to keep him safe and alive.
 
Frances Cudjoe Waters: The clock is ticking, and my husband and I must prepare to have the same talk with them that our parents had with us: You are bright. You are funny and smart and sometimes silly. Your laughter and smiles fill up the room when you enter. And your warmth and your hugs fill my heart with more happiness and joy than any one person has a right to expect in one lifetime. You are capable of being anything you want to be in this life — even President of the United States. But when you walk out of the safety, protection and loving arms of our home, you are walking while black, and only our prayers can protect you then.
 
PlEASE, LET THEM RUN WILD AND FREE!
 

For both of my sons

“#truestory #trayvonmartin #unionsquare #millionhoodies”

I dont’ know how to credit twitter pics – but this was on my feed tonight.
This guy could be my biggie boy, Waffles. (OK, Waffles is only 19 – but have y’all seen Waffles lately? In a word, scruffy. Sorry pal, I know you’ll read this. And I love ya like crazy. You know I’m proud of  the man you are, in every way. Even if I wanna cut your hair and give you a razor. )
 
And yet, I don’t fret for Waffles safety.  I don’t NEED to advise him to walk with his hands visible, with his eyes alert and ahead of himself, with his head uncovered and his senses at calm attention. I don’t feel compelled to remind him to  always give off the air of being a ‘prospect, not a suspect.’ It’s ok if he runs across the neighborhood lawns or he and his pals ride bikes at 3 a.m. in the neighborhood because they are crazy boys trying to stay up for 48 hours. I don’t advise him about how to handle a traffic stop in his rusted out beast of a vehicle. I give him regular mom advice. (And plenty of it, rest assured) Let me restate: I give him regular WHITE MOM advice for her WHITE SON. This is our shared privilege. We haven’t earned this privilege, it is ours because we are white.
 
But this boy of mine, the little one, the one I call Blueberry, will need a different kind of regular ‘ol Mom advice. It will be infused with details I am still learning to provide — and with which I will need some help from those who live in skin like his.  He’ll need to know so much more. The “Kissing Hand”  his big brother gave him as he departed back to college from spring break won’t be enough to protect and inform my sweet youngest. Niether of us have that kissing magic.  We both wish we did. Our whole family wishes we did.
These are my sons. I love them. They are my heart. And I won’t be quiet about it.
 
Please, if you are not parenting children of color, read these and put an end to racial profiling, ingorance, and claims of colorblindness. If you are parenting children of color, read this to build your strategies and your resolve.
 
 
 
 
Help me change the world for my sons. Help me change the world for BOTH of them. Help me raise my voice for justice.
 
I have no more words, and mine pale in the company of those who know so much more than I do – – but I have love – – and that love is fierce for my sons.  I will not be silent.

4

This boy is so amazing, so beautiful, so sweet and so silly. And, he’s so 4! Happy Birthday to our beloved smallest son. What an honor it is to be your family.  

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday