Imperious Edicts

My fab friend wrote on FB today, “In Thai, if you’re a woman you say ‘ka’ after phrases to make it polite. Hence, DD’s new nickname: Bossy Ka.”  Another of my sassy and smart friend’s responded,  “Perfect! And by the way, am I to read into this that I don’t have the only 2 year old issuing most imperious edicts these days?”

Indeed, neither of them are experiencing something unique. Please allow me to elaborate (and then you can pipe in with your own comments – because I’m sure I’ll get a lot of head nodding on this post!).

I was excruciatingly tired around 3:30 today. Waffles stopped by to pick up his way cool sunglasses order from the holiday. Full of energy and smiles, I asked if he’d like to stay for about 1/2 hour to spell me for a nap. “Uh, I planned to stay for a little bit, about like 10 minutes.” Drat.  Twinkletoes was just home for work, and I considered squeezing a little time out of Twinkletoes. My contemplation was interupted a few moments later when Clementine and Twinkletoes declared they were heading out to “buy Jesus baked in a cake!” It’s Rosca de Reyes, and cake is on the dinner menu. After asking for the use of the car, I smiled sweetly and said, “Sure, and you can take Blueberry with you to the bakery.” They happily nodded yes. SCORE.

What was striking, however, was the 20 minute conversation that followed between Blue, Clem, and Twink. I rarely have the occasion to simply listen to the flow of conversation. However, frantic for a nap, I hurriedly snuggled up under my blanket on the couch. Sleep was slow to arrive on account of this non-stop exchange: 

Blueberry Ka: Twinkletoes, I want Clementine to drive.

Twinkletoes: Why? I’m a good driver Blueberry. I will drive.

Blueberry Ka: No you won’t Twinkletoes. Clementine will drive. I want to wear my puffy coat.

Clementine: Please. Say please. Twinkletoes is going to drive, Blueberry. I’ll sit with you.

Blueberry Ka: Please. No! Not that hat. I want the other hat. Your hat Clementine.

Clementine: Please.

Twinkletoes: You need to put your socks on, Blueberry.

Blueberry Ka: Please. No, not my socks. I want you to wear my socks Clementine. I want those other socks. You don’t put them on me Twinkletoes, I want Clementine to put my socks on me.

Clementine: I will help you, please sit down.

Blueberry Ka: I will sit down here, not there. Please (thrown in for good measure, I suppose). Where’s my puffy coat. I want my puffy coat, please. Clementine, I want you to drive. Not Twinkletoes driving at all.

Twinkletoes: I’m driving and you can come with us. Mommy said we can get you a lollipop.

Blueberry Ka: I want to hold the keys.

Clementine: Please.

Blueberry Ka: Please I want to hold the keys. And I will wear your scarf, Twinkletoes.

Twinkletoes: You can wear my scarf if you use your kind words.

Blueberry Ka: Please can I wear your scarf. (Sound of door opening to the garage). HEY! I want to walk out first!

After all of the talk and commotion and talk and negotiation and talk and reminders to use the word ‘please’, the threesome finally made their way out the door. I laughed at the chaos, and promptly fell asleep. As I drifted off I am sure I was aware that I could never have been so patient and steady with that stream of demands had I been heading out to buy the Rosca de Reyes cake. The well is not always so deep. Thank goodness for the biggies. Oh, sweet surrender.

I hope Clementine gets the piece of cake with baby Jesus tonight.

 I’m in the mood for tamales.

 (As I’m writing this Blueberry Ka is holding Twinkletoes mouth closed and exclaiming, “No, you cannot talk!” And so it goes……)

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5 responses to “Imperious Edicts

  1. I do remember and can’t wait for those conversations when my girls become mom’s and then I will smile(: awesome post.

  2. HAA!! The ka in this house had added ‘finger waving’ into the demands and direction. Sadly- the cousins all thought it so funny they indulged. The dog, on the other hand, is just confused by all the hand gesturing.

  3. OMB! (that means Oh My Buddha in case you’re wondering…it’s all the rage to say that around this house because we’re getting so excited about our trip.) Anyhoooo- I’m crying laughing. It’s hilarious- when you’re the observer and not stuck inside the perpetual negotiations. 🙂 Babba likes knowing that we’re not the only ones.

  4. funny.as.hell. oh, i SO live this. 24/7, baby!
    Feliz Dia de Los Tres Reyes!
    Not sure why that had to be in Spanish- I guess every time I’ve celebrated I’ve either been in a Spanish-speaking country or around here w/ friends….and I guess we were speaking Spanish. 🙂 Oh and btw- I’ve always thought it strange this tradition of *wanting* to bite in to baby Jesus. I dunno. Sac-relig?

  5. I’m glad I’m in good company. I’m finally learning that my friends who complained about their challenging toddlers weren’t just whining; My first two at this age were so…so…well, compliant, I guess. But this little girl of mine is strong-willed and self-assured. Great assets as an adult, challenging as a toddler. A sense of humor about it is invaluable.

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