It’s Christmas eve and it was bound to happen – my smiles turned to tears, an outburst, emotional meltdown, a few self pitying words, an understanding audience (oh thank goodness), and then a return to normal. No. Better than normal.
It is sometimes a tough time of year. Ask your friendly ‘clinician’ about holiday meltdowns….I’m no exception. This week (this VERY week) holds two deep losses for me. It seems these two losses have really become more than two – s0mehow multiplying over time. Somehow deepening. I won’t detail the ‘why’ and ‘who’ and ‘what’s up’ here. It’s enough to say I’m holding the loss, holding the love, heeding the gentle and loving support of my family. And really, I think it’s ok to give 1/2 hour of my day over to a little mourning in exchange for the catharsis of being a family – for being the parts of family that are deep and abiding and constant. I’ve worked hard to shape what I have here in my home, and for the depths of home. Today, the depths were necessary for some grieving. And, for the purpose of moving into fuller merriment.
In the spirit of “the spirit” , this is what moving forward looks like today for our merry multitude:
Twinkletoes, Clementine and Blueberry have been busy all day making holiday cookies. Cookies include my fondly (re)named”Mexican Wedding Balls” – they always make me think of my mom since they were part of her cookie tradition. In typical family style, Twinkletoes is our baker. Her sous chef is Clementine. And the junior sous is certainly Blueberry. Snickerdoodles, sugar cookies, and chocolate brittle are on the cooking menu too. Blueberry is totally enjoying wearing his apron and cooking alongside the cooking duo…now trio.
Mr. SillyPants, who worked this morning, is now home and is preparing to play the organ at church tonight. In anticipation, he’s practicing on the piano (his lovely Steinway) and pulling music left and right out of his music files. I imagine there is some wrapping to be done, too. Plenty of time 🙂 We’ll all be at church at 10:30, save 1. 1 will have to stay home with the wee one, and we’ve agreed the dog isn’t up to the task.
Speaking of wrapping…. in the tradition of my family, all of the gifts from Santa arrive wrapped in red and green tissue. Nothing fancy – just names written by the ‘elves’ in a variety of styles. On the other hand, the biggies have been busy, excitedly wrapping their contributions to tomorrow’s gift giving. It turns out Waffle’s is a particularly fine gift wrapper. I, on the other hand, am a lame wrapper. My mom was the best wrapper EVER – she made the gift wrap a true part of the gift. Sorry to disappoint – hard as I try, I turn out wrapped gifts that make wrapping look like a necessary evil. The kids tell me that I’ve turned out a few birthday cakes that have that look, too. They’re right.
Speaking of Waffles, he and Clementine were sent on an errand to collect our Eve dinner. We opted to do something new this year and ordered sushi rolls for dinner from our favorite downtown restaurant. Twinkletoes and I are wondering how in the world a little food pick-up has lasted nearly 2 hours (OK, they did get a ‘tip’ in the form of coffee money – Clementine’s favorite fair trade coffeehouse is near the sushi restaurant). We all complimented Waffle’s ‘murse’ as he walked out the door. Style 101. In about 1/2 hour we’re going to be digging in and enjoying our favorite food! It’s a GREAT break from the tradition of making our holiday eve dinner – and judging from this morning’s meltdown, it was a wise plan.
I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Songbird and her sidekick, Futball. They ran some ‘craft shop’ errands earlier today and then hustled downstairs with glue guns, art supplies, sharpies, gift wrap, and tape. I think there is a production going on in the hinterlands of our home. I said production! Not REproduction! (I am a mom to young adults – this is not a taboo subject around here!).
Finally, I have spent the afternoon reading my mind numbing, mind pleasing novel. I’m nearly done and I have to say that I’ve enjoyed it very much. It’s been entertaining and relaxing – and that’s TOPS on my holiday wish list. I can say that I’m most excited about having a whole week of R&R with my family over the next week. We plan on doing some ice-skating, some XC skiing, and a whole lot of reading and game playing. We are all in need of spoiling and indulging, so I hope that we are successful in giving each other a good bit of TLC this week.
P.S. It’s past our dinner plan hour and the dynamic duo are still MIA. We think they might have absconded with the sushi and headed to Central America. Go figure. (And if you read the last post about the Beast, they might have slipped from the car seats right into the road on their way home).
P.S.S. Did I mention that Blueberry has been in DRY underwear ALL day long? We might be there – we just might.