On Monday night at 10 PM I got a call from Waffles. He said excitedly, “Mom, I’m on my way home from the snowboard race tonight and my tire just blew out. I pulled over. I’m OK. I’m out in the country. What do I do?” $276 bucks later the old old ancient rust bucket we call “The Beast” is back on the road with 2 new tires. It was Grandma’s car. We have the car because when she died it was not worth selling and I had drivers. It’s a stick with a super stiff throw. It doesn’t go over 55 very easily and has hand turned wheels for 4-wheel drive. Waffles loves the car. Essential? No. But, I have teens. I have a toddler. I have a job across town. I have a husband who is not the father of my teens and who works very long days. It’s essential to our life that we keep our stress levels low, our big kids feeling like they have their own big kid life (part of the adoption plan made the biggies lives front and center and not make the biggie changes too profound – a husband for me was profound enough for them, right?), and that Waffles has ways to navigate 2 homes and his school and sport with some independence. Let me ask again – Essential? Kind of. So, we anted up and the Beast is rollin’ again.
Nonetheless, it didn’t take long to go off the 30 Days of Nothing plan – 7 days to be exact. Tonight I sent a text to Mr. Silly Pants that said, “pretend you have a Chipotle gift card. I’ll take my usual.” Here is what I learned: I need to plan better. I need a calendar that really presents a visual of the pace of my week. I need to do more pre-made (weekend prep?) meals for the days I already know are going to be intensely long with taking care of this person that person and those other things too. Tonight, it just all tumbled down around me. 4 out of the last 5 nights Mr. Silly Pants has not been home in the evening (work related). I’ve worked, prepared meals (Twinkletoes is still home on break and eating dinner every eve with us), put the babe to bed, kept up with laundry – awwwww women, you KNOW the routine! It just tumbled down on me when I walked in the door tonight. I was tired. I wanted to enjoy Blueberry INSTEAD of cooking and cleaning up. I wanted convenience that I hadn’t planned for. So, I asked for it. And, I got it – with guacamole, which is extra.
I know that planning is not a strength in my relationship. I don’t think Mr. Silly Pants and I plan very well. I don’t know why – it’s a bit of a mystery to me that we’re not more like a dynamic duo in our planning. We’re not. We don’t seem to look ahead much or organize our weeks with attention to our obligations.
OK, so there’s the lesson. I’m back on the horse. All is not lost. I failed. I’m not perfect. Like I needed to remind you all.
I’m going to digest my dinner and fold some laundry. Carry-in doesn’t mean I’m off the hook for the double shift. (This is the part of BTDT and having raised biggies in round one that is sometimes a bit of a challenge for me).