Some of you know I struggle with my expanding girth. I started gaining weight post divorce; the gain accelerated when my mom got sick and at the very same moment I had to deal with some very difficult (unbloggable) personal issues. Mom’s cancer and my personal loss all happened in what should have been a really fun after Christmas week to end ’05 and greet ’06. But that wasn’t to be. I spent the next 6 months helping mom live while she died and in literal and figurative ways, death really took hold, despite my best efforts to live the lessons of a well lived life – my mother’s.
I’m pretty clear about the how and when it all happened. I’m pretty unclear about why I haven’t been able to fully untangle myself from about 50 lbs of unwelcomed ME! Oh, I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. The trying hasn’t helped the cause – only added to a broken sense of body and mourned loss of my athleticism.
But it’s time to try again, and also to settle into a kinder and gentler self image. So, that’s where I’m at. I’m going to be supplementing my “30 Days of Nothing” (such an overstated idea=nothing) with 30 days of food journaling. The food journaling is private, I”m not going to blog a journal – that would just be el boring. But, the conscious parts of 30 days seem to compliment the food journaling. I’ve added another layer of deliberateness to the overall project, and I think it’s a good addition for me. Mr. Silly Pants is in 100% – he’ll be my companion on this project and be accounting for his daily eats too.
I’d appreciate support – you know – the gentle sort. I think a good 30 days of focus sets a nice frame around a bigger goal. And yes, I started already on the 1st. The hump is 4 years of flailing (not failure exactly), so I don’t expect this to be easy. But worth it – I want to feel better.