Wild and “Free-ish”

Marian Wright Edelman: Training him how to walk, what to say, and how to act so he won’t seem like a threat. Teaching him that the burden of deflating stereotypes and reassuring other people’s ignorance will always fall on him, and while that isn’t fair, in some cases it may be the only way to keep him safe and alive.

 

Frances Cudjoe Waters: The clock is ticking, and my husband and I must prepare to have the same talk with them that our parents had with us: You are bright. You are funny and smart and sometimes silly. Your laughter and smiles fill up the room when you enter. And your warmth and your hugs fill my heart with more happiness and joy than any one person has a right to expect in one lifetime. You are capable of being anything you want to be in this life — even President of the United States. But when you walk out of the safety, protection and loving arms of our home, you are walking while black, and only our prayers can protect you then.

 

PlEASE, LET THEM RUN WILD AND FREE!

 

For both of my sons

“#truestory #trayvonmartin #unionsquare #millionhoodies”

I dont’ know how to credit twitter pics – but this was on my feed tonight.

This guy could be my biggie boy, Waffles. (OK, Waffles is only 19 – but have y’all seen Waffles lately? In a word, scruffy. Sorry pal, I know you’ll read this. And I love ya like crazy. You know I’m proud of  the man you are, in every way. Even if I wanna cut your hair and give you a razor. )

 

And yet, I don’t fret for Waffles safety.  I don’t NEED to advise him to walk with his hands visible, with his eyes alert and ahead of himself, with his head uncovered and his senses at calm attention. I don’t feel compelled to remind him to  always give off the air of being a ‘prospect, not a suspect.’ It’s ok if he runs across the neighborhood lawns or he and his pals ride bikes at 3 a.m. in the neighborhood because they are crazy boys trying to stay up for 48 hours. I don’t advise him about how to handle a traffic stop in his rusted out beast of a vehicle. I give him regular mom advice. (And plenty of it, rest assured) Let me restate: I give him regular WHITE MOM advice for her WHITE SON. This is our shared privilege. We haven’t earned this privilege, it is ours because we are white.

 

But this boy of mine, the little one, the one I call Blueberry, will need a different kind of regular ‘ol Mom advice. It will be infused with details I am still learning to provide — and with which I will need some help from those who live in skin like his.  He’ll need to know so much more. The “Kissing Hand”  his big brother gave him as he departed back to college from spring break won’t be enough to protect and inform my sweet youngest. Niether of us have that kissing magic.  We both wish we did. Our whole family wishes we did.

These are my sons. I love them. They are my heart. And I won’t be quiet about it.

 

Please, if you are not parenting children of color, read these and put an end to racial profiling, ingorance, and claims of colorblindness. If you are parenting children of color, read this to build your strategies and your resolve.

 

http://inamerica.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/20/my-12-year-old-son-knows-he-could-be-trayvon/?hpt=hp_bn2 

 

http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2012/03/21/watch-and-pray-for-our-children 

 

http://ideas.time.com/2012/03/21/how-to-talk-to-young-black-boys-about-trayvon-martin/

 

Help me change the world for my sons. Help me change the world for BOTH of them. Help me raise my voice for justice.

 

I have no more words, and mine pale in the company of those who know so much more than I do – - but I have love – - and that love is fierce for my sons.  I will not be silent.

4

This boy is so amazing, so beautiful, so sweet and so silly. And, he’s so 4! Happy Birthday to our beloved smallest son. What an honor it is to be your family.  

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

The Biggies Make it Better (especially at Christmas)

Our annual outing for our Christmas tree did not disappoint. I can’t remember a time in my adult life when we didn’t have “tree escapades” (maybe once when the kids were young and all sick at the same time with -25 degree weather?). This is one of our very beloved holiday traditions – - and I’m always surprised at how much the biggies INSIST we continue the “tree escapade”. They have so much fun together – all 4 of my kids – and add a fun loving husband and crazy dog and it’s happy mayhem on a Saturday morning.  The tradition commenced as we left the house at 9:30. Our first stop – coffee and hot chocolate. All 9 of us (because the biggies now travel with sweeties – and so we are a sight to see!) in our big boots and coats stuffed ourselves into the coffee shop. I’m pretty sure we spent as much on drinks as we paid for the tree. My life – welcome to a glimpse of my checkbook. We don’t think Blueberry really remembered the ‘event’ that finding a tree is for all of us - – but it took no time for him to enjoy the FIRST snow of the season and the wide open spaces filled with trees and his goofball family.  We had snowball fights, snow angels,  a very happy dog, ‘biggest tree we can get Mom to say ‘yes’ to’ competitions, freaky sightings of snowy eyebrows, sweetie threats with sharpened saws, and for Flower, who we miss like crazycakes,  “JUMP FOR JOY!” is just for you! 3 hours later we had the perfect tree (it’s a big one!) and happy hearts. The tree is up and the lights are on. However, we won’t be putting on the ornaments until next Saturday – our Twinkletoes had to get right back to campus for finals. Our next ‘all together’ day is next Saturday. And, like so many precious tradtions, there is NO decorating the tree without the whole crew here; there will be eggnog, music, and  giggling (and a bit of crying) as we pull out the ornaments and remember who we are. Together. That’s how we roll.

Got Injera?

Super busy days, including this whirlwind 24 hour back and forth to Minneapolis to join some friends at a potluck. Injera, tons of lovely children, and some kick ass moms. WORTH.THE.TRIP.

I’m in the thick of planning my travels to Ethiopia – - and really feeling the combination of excitement and sheer ‘heaviness’ of the journey.  It’s all consuming right now. Plus.

The short list looks like this:

1. Learn gps to map the water pipeline and surrounding area of Mudula (big learning curve here for me – really wanting something tangible for families to connect with surrounding Mudula Water).

2. Plan arts and crafts for 100 kids at AHOPE for Children (this is a lot of work). And a supplies nightmare.

3. Gather supplies for AHOPE (stay tuned for this one – I think I might need help gathering 50 some watches for the kids. This is the number one kid centered request and one that the staff at AHOPE thinks would be great for the children who are attending school).

4. Spend oodles of time with Blueberry – so.much.fun.

5. walk walk walk, climb climb climb (fitness shifting from couch25K to 10,000 steps a day).

6. Stay present and connected to Blueberry and Mr. Sillypants. Enjoy Songbird. Keep in touch with Twinkletoes and Waffles.

7. Prepare for a 40+ person dinner party next week here at our home to welcome Ethiopian physicians here on a new grant for a family medicin partnership/program with Black Lion Hospital. (rub hands w/excitement at the thought of Mr. Sillypants getting involved with this program in a meaningful way).

8. Continue advocating for kids right where they are: Clinic At A Time, Mudula Water, AHOPE for Children (in Ethiopia). Stay active in local discussion surrounding Madison Prep. Continue advocating for public school funding (local).

9. Make progress on the discussion with Mr. SillyPants about a local relocation – which means finishing some home projects in anticipation of selling our home. Courageous living.

10. Start thinking about 4K! OMG…NOooooooooooooo.

11. Continue processing our local “Racial Justice Summit” and the practices of restorative justice..hot stuff.

– there’s more, I’m just too tired to remember it all.

As I was driving home the other a thought came into my consciousness, “My life is miraculous.” I  hope I honor the goodness every day. It’s a stunning thought that hasn’t often visited my awareness. I hope I can honor the awareness in act and deed.

Wordless Wednesday

WW – stride

Wordless Wednesday