Category Archives: Big Kids

For both of my sons

“#truestory #trayvonmartin #unionsquare #millionhoodies”

I dont’ know how to credit twitter pics – but this was on my feed tonight.
This guy could be my biggie boy, Waffles. (OK, Waffles is only 19 – but have y’all seen Waffles lately? In a word, scruffy. Sorry pal, I know you’ll read this. And I love ya like crazy. You know I’m proud of  the man you are, in every way. Even if I wanna cut your hair and give you a razor. )
 
And yet, I don’t fret for Waffles safety.  I don’t NEED to advise him to walk with his hands visible, with his eyes alert and ahead of himself, with his head uncovered and his senses at calm attention. I don’t feel compelled to remind him to  always give off the air of being a ‘prospect, not a suspect.’ It’s ok if he runs across the neighborhood lawns or he and his pals ride bikes at 3 a.m. in the neighborhood because they are crazy boys trying to stay up for 48 hours. I don’t advise him about how to handle a traffic stop in his rusted out beast of a vehicle. I give him regular mom advice. (And plenty of it, rest assured) Let me restate: I give him regular WHITE MOM advice for her WHITE SON. This is our shared privilege. We haven’t earned this privilege, it is ours because we are white.
 
But this boy of mine, the little one, the one I call Blueberry, will need a different kind of regular ‘ol Mom advice. It will be infused with details I am still learning to provide — and with which I will need some help from those who live in skin like his.  He’ll need to know so much more. The “Kissing Hand”  his big brother gave him as he departed back to college from spring break won’t be enough to protect and inform my sweet youngest. Niether of us have that kissing magic.  We both wish we did. Our whole family wishes we did.
These are my sons. I love them. They are my heart. And I won’t be quiet about it.
 
Please, if you are not parenting children of color, read these and put an end to racial profiling, ingorance, and claims of colorblindness. If you are parenting children of color, read this to build your strategies and your resolve.
 
 
 
 
Help me change the world for my sons. Help me change the world for BOTH of them. Help me raise my voice for justice.
 
I have no more words, and mine pale in the company of those who know so much more than I do – - but I have love – - and that love is fierce for my sons.  I will not be silent.

Wordless Wednesday

Twinkletoes in Cape Town

In January, middle biggie left. Again. Another biggie gone. Another biggie stretching out her wings and naming another place ‘home.’ Another place that Blueberry can name on the world map because someone he loves is there.

Twinkletoes is spending the spring semester studying at University of Cape Town, South Africa.

 I’m not gonna lie, Twinkletoes in Cape Town is pretty much the coolest thing on this year’s busy calendar. My cool cat kid is doing cool cat stuff. Here’s the update!

She’s taking 3 classes: Global Change Ecology, Astronomy and Xhosa.

She’s got a few clubs she’s joined: Ballroom, mountain and ski, diving (that would be SCUBA – she’ll get her diver certification), and a volunteer program for the township debating league.

I have a few comments about the last 2 clubs. First, I can’t believe she is going to get SCUBA certified. One cherished memory I have of sweet Twinkletoes is on a boat on the gorgeous green waters of the Indian Ocean in Kenya. Twink was 5 years old. She feigned sleep on the boat to avoid an amazing snorkeling experience. I think this is her way of making up for that missed opportunity. And she wins.

Second, I am so proud of her sense of service. Twinkletoes writes, “Today I was at 8 hours of training for coaching a Township Debating League. The student organization “Ubunye” does the Township Debating League and it is really cool. Volunteers coach students in grade 8-12. Each pair of volunteers is assigned a school and coaches about 10 students. I’m excited!” If you have ever argued with Twinkletoes, or ‘debated’ a topic with her – - um, you know she is going to rock this club. She’s going to be a great student coach.

I’m so proud of my daughter. She’s curious, she’s generous, she’s compassionate, she’s responsible, she’s intelligent (underscore), she’s kind. Twinkletoes both knows who she is and is open to her own ‘becoming.’ As a parent, I raise my children to live in the world just as she does – fully, responsibly, and with passion and conviction. I ask my kids to be engaged as they experience.  To embrace as they endeavor. Twinkletoes does it with her own special flare – and it makes me smile from deep within my soul.

Plus, who doesn’t love penguins?

She ended a recent e-mail with “ I was accepted to the Uganda program that will take place next winter break.” (I left out the $ request…bwahahahaha).  I guess that means she’ll be leaving again. She’s getting a Global Health Certificate from UW – Uganda is part of the program.

I’ll miss her one more time. I can’t wait!

The Biggies Make it Better (especially at Christmas)

Our annual outing for our Christmas tree did not disappoint. I can’t remember a time in my adult life when we didn’t have “tree escapades” (maybe once when the kids were young and all sick at the same time with -25 degree weather?). This is one of our very beloved holiday traditions – - and I’m always surprised at how much the biggies INSIST we continue the “tree escapade”. They have so much fun together – all 4 of my kids – and add a fun loving husband and crazy dog and it’s happy mayhem on a Saturday morning.  The tradition commenced as we left the house at 9:30. Our first stop – coffee and hot chocolate. All 9 of us (because the biggies now travel with sweeties – and so we are a sight to see!) in our big boots and coats stuffed ourselves into the coffee shop. I’m pretty sure we spent as much on drinks as we paid for the tree. My life – welcome to a glimpse of my checkbook. We don’t think Blueberry really remembered the ‘event’ that finding a tree is for all of us - – but it took no time for him to enjoy the FIRST snow of the season and the wide open spaces filled with trees and his goofball family.  We had snowball fights, snow angels,  a very happy dog, ‘biggest tree we can get Mom to say ‘yes’ to’ competitions, freaky sightings of snowy eyebrows, sweetie threats with sharpened saws, and for Flower, who we miss like crazycakes,  “JUMP FOR JOY!” is just for you! 3 hours later we had the perfect tree (it’s a big one!) and happy hearts. The tree is up and the lights are on. However, we won’t be putting on the ornaments until next Saturday – our Twinkletoes had to get right back to campus for finals. Our next ‘all together’ day is next Saturday. And, like so many precious tradtions, there is NO decorating the tree without the whole crew here; there will be eggnog, music, and  giggling (and a bit of crying) as we pull out the ornaments and remember who we are. Together. That’s how we roll.

Tri-ing

Tri-ing times 3, that is. It’s the season of triathlons and I am HARD at work. NO! I’m not doing 3 triathlons, but I am advocating for 3 important charities through the Janus Charity Challenge. As the weeks advance, there are days I wonder if I might switch places and trade the fundraising for the physical task of a Tri. No. Scratch that.I’m still in the thick of training for my little bitty 5K through the couch to 5K program. My legs ache as I type this from week 7 day 2! Yeah, NO tri for me.

The first Tri has come and gone – and we have results. Fairy Godmother and I organized our 4th annual Team Plumpy’Nut for Doctors Without Borders Fundraiser (see here, here, and here for 1, 2, and 3). The Janus Charity Challenge  ’switched teams’ and relocated their resources with the Lifetime/Toyota Triathlon series. Thus, our favorite local venue, the Wisconsin Ironman, was replaced by our neighboring state’s Lifetime Chicago Triathlon. Not intimidated, Fairy Godmother  and I recruited a lovely local man who was using the Chicago Triathlon as his ‘taper’ for the fabulous Wisconsin Ironman. His TAPER! We raised over $14,000 for Doctors Without Borders – feeding over 466 kids in the Horn of Africa. We are THRILLED with our result of FOURTH PLACE and a $500 additional cash award for Doctors Without Borders.  We were beat by competitors who had triple digit fundraising totals – we could not be prouder of our grassroots effort to bring compassionate care and nourishment to our brothers and sisters in the Horn of Africa. It was a WIN for our Team Plumpy’Nut. I celebrated with Mr. SillyPants and Blueberry by camping out in Lot 60 during the Ironman WI event. Fairy Godmother worked “officially” for the Ironman – supporting athletes as they ran through our beloved Camp Randall on the last 8 mile leg of the entire venue. Our fabulous athlete wore his MSF jersey during the bike and ran past me in his bright yellow running shirt. We held hands, exchanged smiles, and our family cheered for his big heart and a strong finish. That run is grueling. The whole dang Ironman is grueling.

During training Philip asked me about rules for finishing the Tri in Chicago. He said, “if mother’s in East Africa are carrying their dying children for months in search of food and help, I can crawl on my hands and knees to the finish line.” I was moved by his spirit and his determination for solidarity with the families stricken by one of the worst famines of our time. Thank you to Philip for his courage and determination. YOU are a WINNER.

Just for kicks, here is an image of Blueberry’s FIRST Ironbaby campaign. It’s fair to say, you’ve come a LONG WAY BABY! We are looking forward to our 5th annual campaign next year!

Of course, I never argue with a good idea, and I’ve been working on bringing some other stellar nonprofits to the Janus Charity Challenge at other venues. Enter Mudula Water Project and the Mudula Mamas. 3 amazing women are traveling to Dallas from across the US to join together for one cause – WATER. I am so excited about this Tri team and their dedication to bring water to over 10,000 people in Ethiopia. Each woman will do one leg of the race – my small part is simply that I’ve joined their effort by bringing them into the Janus Charity Challenge. This is an event WE NEED to dominate (please help!).  2 weeks until the race – so don’t delay!

The piece that makes me wildly giddy is that shortly after this event I’ll be heading to ETHIOPIA with the Mudula Water Team. How cool would it be to have fundraised nearly all of our funds? Hmmmm? No amount of donation is too small. And, for those of you who can make a larger donation, please do. I promise the BEST PICTURES EVER of Mudula Ethiopia and nearby communities that will have access to the water from this gravity well. Plus, I really want to see THIS TREE and know I’ve had a small part in changing the lives of these kids. The Janus Charity Challenge in Dallas is a deal maker for me. I brought this team together with the hope that we’ll rock the charity win  – we need your help to do this.

Last, but by no means least, Los Angeles is hosting an AHOPE for Children athlete at the LA Triathlon on September 25th. Y’all know how much I LOVE AHOPE for Children. Nick is bringin’ that love to the water, bike, and pavement when he Tri’s for AHOPE.  I blogged about all the reasons I love this non-profit and THEN I went ahead and accepted a seat on their Board. Yep. I did. I’m helping connect families with AHOPE and AHOPE with families. Be my connecting families, ok? Help us put the programs in place that AHOPE knows bring kids into better health and bigger hope. And remember how I said I’m traveling to Mudula? Well, I’ll be visiting AHOPE Ethiopia too. I am SO EXCITED to be there, back in the orphanage that received a donation that Waffles so carefully prepared when we traveled to Ethiopia to become Blue’s family. We had 5 travelers, which meant 5 personal bags and 5 bags full of donations.   This photo is circa 2008 —-> Blast from the past – it’s funny how the past becomes my present in my ‘becoming.’

Whew! 3 athletes and 3 venues. There are 2 remaining in which you can make a difference and help us win charity purse $!!!!! Mr. Sillypants, who is wise, has said to me, “Ms. Plum, it’s your job to make the offer, but you don’t get to decide who takes you up on the offer.” I know he’s right, but I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME UP ON THIS OFFER!  I do. It’s personal. I’m petty like that.

Make sure you get it done before the deadlines:  AHOPE before September 24th. Mudula Water before Oct 1.               Amaseganalou.

Pure Puddin’ OR Our Version of the Swiss Family Robinson

Waffles was home from CSU for a quick (very quick) home visit this weekend. We managed a family pic (300 or so, see last post) with a reluctant Blueberry. The biggies, it is clear, are photo glamorous. But Waffles, jeeesh. He has NO business being so stinkin’ cute at 18 years old. And all you folks, worried about having beastly adolescent boys…think again. Waffles is (and has always been) pure puddin’. You need proofi? I’m putting a FB conversation out for the world to witness. Sorry Waffles, there is no hiding your silly charm.

Me:  Ghandigirl <Waffles’ girlfriend>, I’m just gonna say, Waffles is looking way too cute for words. Something about the way he’s hangin’ on the fort – it’s just super “Waffles”

Gandhigirl: Can I like that comment x1,000,000,000? Agreeeeed!

Waffles:  Ohh thanks Mom (: you’re lookin adorable yourself, and Gandhigirl, you were looken good with the camera, in fact we’re are just a good lookin group of people (:

Me:  Waffles, there are so many reasons I love you – and this is just announcing why to the whole wide world!

Surprise weekend: All the Biggies are Home…

This hasn’t happened since before June 1 around here. QUICK – take a picture!  (Or take 300 and hope that in one of them all of you are sort of looking like the perfectly imperfect family that you are – Blueberry is NOT a fan of the paprazzi).

*you guessed it – it’s PPR time*

I cannot help but share that looking through 300+ images of our family created such a sweet sense of our perfectly imperfect crew. Lucky.Lucky.Lucky.

Epiphyte is the coolest word I learned

Quito, EcuadorNapo Wildlife Center – Rainforest, EcuadorIsinlivi, EcuadorMindo, Ecuador

Bellavista Lodge, outside of Mindo – off the Old Quito Highway

Waffles Goes West

… to continue his adventure in becoming. I love this kid like crazycakes and I already miss him. He’s my 3rd kid. My first ”baby.” He’s the smiler. The jokester. The dreamer. He has held my hand for what seems like forever, and hugged me in big, sweet embraces for as long as I can remember. He has grown and changed, but kept the sweetness of his core present and shining. I remember a zillion stories about Waffles, many of which demonstrate both his compassion and his sweet attitude for living his life with plenty of laughter and adventure. He is this … all of this and more.

The missing goes for Blueberry too. Waffles left yesterday; packed up his Dad’s truck, loaded up his bike and his snowboard, a futon, his fancy pants college laptop, a whole bunch of tunes, and a great attitude. He’s ready. 

Today Blueberry asked, “Momma, where is Waffles?” (pause) I was glad his fabulous friends hosted a get together the night before – it helped frame the reality that Waffles was leaving - and we had a chance to hang out with the posse (aka ‘plague of locust’) and bid him goodbye (and with a unicorn pinata, no less!).

 

 

 

 

“Oh, I remember, he’s at college now. Do you remember how he took his board to ski there? And his big red bike? He had so many boxes! Do you remember I gave him my pink fire car? And he gave me his hat?” 

I remember, Blue.

Good luck Waffles. You’re going to rock Ft. Collins. Natural Resources, Ecology, Biology – never going to be the same again. I can’t wait to hear all about it! Our missing is big, but your adventure is bigger!

Where in the world is Songird?

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I’m getting excited..super excited…to join her in Ecuador! And tell me, who in the world wouldn’t miss her smile? Me= one lucky mom.